Facing Future: Letting go of the past

     Well it has been quite a while since I've written a blog.  So much has happened since last I wrote.  Miracles and sorrows.  Pains and great joys.  Life has definitely thrown me some great curveballs, and to say the least I have felt a least a little dazed, if not completely lost for quite some time.  But out of the confusing darkness we can find the great power of the Lord to answer our prayers and teach us who He is.  I am writing this blog to at least try to describe in the least what I consider the greatest learning curve of my life.  I say "greatest" to describe the awful pain and also the great wonderfulness that was associated with this time of my life.  I say "try" because it is impossible for mortal tongue to completely convey the feelings and teachings of the spirit, whose tutelage I have enjoyed the past few months.  I hope that maybe a few things that I say may help someone else who is struggling to move on with life.  Someone who feels stuck.  The one thing to remember while reading this is that it is a part of life to be stuck at times.  It is normal.  As my Mission President once counseled me, "we cannot be expected at this stage of our lives to not feel the pains of mortality.  And we cannot think that we are in trouble when we are lessened in our strivings for perfection because of the imperfections hindering us when life becomes difficult" (paraphrased).  I guess you can say that that is lesson #1.
     The second lesson has to do with understanding that no matter what happens God will answer your prayers eventually. Stop worrying about how or when, and take comfort in the fact that the Lord will answer your prayers.  He loves us. For me he has answered my prayers in so many ways.  And finally I have learned that I am worth something to Him and to others.  That is the final answer I had been looking for, for many years.  Many previous blogs were answers to other prayers that kind of helped me along the way, but He finally answered this final prayer.  And now I feel so enabled to face the future with confidence in myself, in others, and most importantly in my God. I can forgive my past and no longer am I bound by many of my biggest fears.  Thanks to my God for that answer.
     The third lesson is a corollary to the answer to my prayer: letting go of the past. It sounds easy, but quite often it is so hard. What does it really mean to let go of the past? Well first off it means that when we refer to people we know really well we can no longer describe them using the phrase "its just who they are"  What do I mean by that? Well, when we say that, we are assuming that they don't have the capacity to change. Rather, we unknowingly put a limit on the power of the atonement to literally change someone's nature.  This unfortunate fallacy is manifest when, for example, we say someone is has depression or is a depressed person.  Although we may see them become happier and healthier we still expect them to at one point return to their depression. What if the atonement has really changed who they are and they have moved on in life? Can we let go of the past and let them move on to the future? Can we not be excited that they have changed?
    Don't be offended that they have changed! And, I'm not saying that we stop helping those people when life gets tough again. Heaven knows that we all have emotional roller coasters in life. So don't abandon them! Still love them! Just because they are healed doesn't mean they are to be left on their own! In fact admire them and be with them all the more! However, make sure to see their future as a future of  possibilities rather than a prison of their past. And don't you dare hold them responsible for sin... that is NEVER your responsibility.  Bad habits, choices, and styles of life can change, let them change! Yet, I know you are wondering "but Sam, what if they don't see reality? what if it is dangerous to me? do I just be kind to them and still get hurt?" No! That is not what I am saying! But that is a topic in itself. If you want to talk about setting boundaries with sinners/dangerous relationships I have some insights I would love to share with you if you just contact me. Another point to make: avoid saying "cope" because the Lord can change who we are and "cope" means that you are unable to change, but are slave to the past. Change is so much more enabling than coping. We need to apply this to ourselves as well. Choose to not hold ourselves to the "i'm just that way" anymore. Yes, we have personalities that define us, but don't let your past define your future; both your mistakes and how you've navigated and viewed life. Yes we are Mormons heading toward perfection! But we are not perfectionists!
     Anyway, those are a few of my thoughts. I sure hope someone finds comfort in this. I testify that the Lord is there! He loves you and will send people your way to take care of you! He loves you! He loves you! He loves you! And if you can't feel that right now, know that I love you! There is at least one person on this earth that will show you he cares, and that is me! Please let me do whatever I can to help you! Please let me and the Lord help you! You are so amazing and so worth it!

PS- I know this is full of grammatical errors, sorry haha