Anyway, this blog isn't not about science or psychological theory (or about how smart I try to believe that I am). Learning how to critically think has actually brought me closer to the Savior, and this blog is a reflection of that. This is about a new way of thinking about the gospel, or at least one particular aspect of the gospel: human weakness. It is something that I have had learn a great deal about over the past few months, being prone to weakness myself, as is the lot of all human beings. Bear with me, I have been writing a lot of academic papers lately, and I tend to write in that style (you'll notice it will seem to be written in a style of argumentation and logical flow). This blog is not meant to be academic in the sense of me trying to prove something or to sound fancy, it is meant to be yet another testimony of the Savior, an invitation to come unto Him, a description of my faith building experience, and my thoughts resulting from that experience.
The theme comes from a commonly known scripture found in Ether 12:27, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if the humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." This is a scripture many use to strengthen themselves when temptation besets them and they feel weak. I testify that what this scripture says is true, and I know that it has the power to lift men when they feel weak.
I will offer my thoughts on this scripture, but first share my story. Since I have been home from my mission I have been distraught by how easily the temptations of the adversary have beset me and how hard life can really be. I do not know if anyone else has felt this way, but I have yearned to return to the mission simply so I can be in a place where I constantly felt close to the spirit and felt strong. "Real life" (meaning life after the mission) has been so tough. The ability to find someone willing to date me continues to elude me, health concerns have arisen that have had a direct affect on my academics, and many other hardships have arisen. Indeed, my weakness has been exposed more than ever. Fear and anxiety are no strangers when I ponder the effects my weakness might be having on my dating life, friendships, or even my future. Have any of you felt this way? If so, let me hopefully share something about the above scripture that might help.
Quite often we read the scripture above as saying "I give unto men weaknesses (plural)" This is the first thing that I have learned about this scripture that I would like to point out. It does not say the plural weaknesses (plural) it says weakness (singular). Why does this matter? It is true, we all seem to reflect human weakness in ways specific to us and satan does target those specifics. However, I think that the reason it is singular is because it isn't so much about the specifics as about the purposes of weakness. In other words, the word weakness points to universal purposes that God has. Let me explain. In my mind when I think weaknesses I begin to think about ways that I am unique from other people and focus on me and fixing my weaknesses and wanting people to pay attention to my uniqueness so they can comfort me. Me. Me. Me. Weakness (singular) means that I have to acknowledge that everyone is weak. It invites me to be compassion to anyone and everyone who struggles in life, because I know what it is like to be weak. I may not know their specific situation, but at least I know what it is like to be beset with weakness, therefore I can cry with them and help to carry a burden. God means to draw us to one another, and I have found that to be one of the most helpful ways of finding peace in hardship.
So how do we deal with weakness? The scripture is very clear: be humble and have faith. Well, what does that mean? How do we become humble and have faith in the midst of trial and hardship?And how does it lead to the "weak things becom[ing] strong unto [us]?" First of all, we must recognize that the scripture is not teaching that we will be free from our trials, but we will be made strong in our weakness. Trials are a part of mortality. Do not try to run away or avoid it, because, as many of the elder generation can attest, life will always have trials. It is the lot of mortality (though I firmly believe in the eternities we will be perfectly strong.) to struggle.
So, I have learned to stop trying to avoid the pain of life, and am trying to embrace the weakness. It is okay to cry and be weak in front of the Lord. He is never ashamed of you for being weak. YOU ARE NOT GUILTY FOR BEING WEAK!! I think that crying to him and weeping and telling him how hard you are trying and how weak you are is a great show of humility and faith. And I can promise you that as you are being so vulnerable, that is when the Lord will be the closest!! He has always heard me, and has NEVER told me He is ashamed of me, only that He loves me. I love the word "sufficient" in this, because it implies that his grace is enough for us, and by implication there is more than enough love to help us.
Reading this scripture, all that I hear is an invitation, even a plea, from our Heavenly Father to come to the Savior. To come to Him. Another unfortunate thing that I hear in my communications with people is the notion that God wants us to come unto Him simply so he can perfect us, and therefore all he cares about is us improving and he has no room for our imperfection. This leads to many people mistakingly thinking that they must be perfect and that God will not want to understand what is holding them back from progress, simply that they are not progressing. This is false. He does care in the progress, but he is an infinitely compassionate being who loves us even when we are stalled, and will sit and bear with us and surround us in his love no matter how slowly we are moving. He invites us to come unto him not just because he wants us to pick up and keep moving forward, but because he is a father, a dad, who wants to hug us and love us and care about everything that is going on in our lives.
But still, it can be ever so difficult and tricky to find the faith to move through, and even at times simply pray when we feel the weakest. This the last thought that I wish to share: faith comes as we learn to yearn for the embrace of our Savior. Alma 32 teaches that if we even so much as desire to believe, then God can work with us. Here is what I do when I become scared because I am weak, you may try this if you would like. It is based on the picture called Journey's End that shows the Savior embracing a man in his arms at the end of life's journey. So first, I picture the Savior at the end of a beautiful walkway smiling and beaming at me with his arms wide open to embrace me. I then think of all of the times when I knew that the Savior was real and that he loved me. Those thoughts stir within me the desire that I have to just be able to give the Savior a hug, to bathe his feet with my tears (as Bruce R. McConkie said), and tell him how much I love him.
I realize that the day has not yet come when I can literally, face-to-face see him and talk with him, so I then picture myself running toward him and tell myself that there is nothing that can stand in my way from getting the chance to embrace him at the end of my "life's journey" I try my best to stop worrying about how to overcome the obstacles because the faith that is pushing me to simply run toward him is enough for him to work with and help to fight through all obstacles. I forget for a brief moment that I have weakness, and for a time I feel strong enough, because the Savior is there, to do what ever he asks of me, even if it is to endure pain for just little bit longer. Doing so will enable me to embrace him. However, as I am running toward him I realize that he has been running alongside me the whole time. He has been picking me up as I have stumble on pebbles, or run into great barriers. It is kind of a paradox that he is at the end of the journey physically, but it is with me throughout the journey spiritually. That is what faith is: running toward the Savior, or crawling, or dragging yourself as best as you can through thick and thin, with what little strength you have at times, because more than anything you want to embrace him. And at the same time, more than anything you need him now.
I testify that the Savior is with us now. He always has been and always will be. He will make you strong! And even when you are weak, he can be your strength because he loves you and will always be there for you.
Quite often we read the scripture above as saying "I give unto men weaknesses (plural)" This is the first thing that I have learned about this scripture that I would like to point out. It does not say the plural weaknesses (plural) it says weakness (singular). Why does this matter? It is true, we all seem to reflect human weakness in ways specific to us and satan does target those specifics. However, I think that the reason it is singular is because it isn't so much about the specifics as about the purposes of weakness. In other words, the word weakness points to universal purposes that God has. Let me explain. In my mind when I think weaknesses I begin to think about ways that I am unique from other people and focus on me and fixing my weaknesses and wanting people to pay attention to my uniqueness so they can comfort me. Me. Me. Me. Weakness (singular) means that I have to acknowledge that everyone is weak. It invites me to be compassion to anyone and everyone who struggles in life, because I know what it is like to be weak. I may not know their specific situation, but at least I know what it is like to be beset with weakness, therefore I can cry with them and help to carry a burden. God means to draw us to one another, and I have found that to be one of the most helpful ways of finding peace in hardship.
So how do we deal with weakness? The scripture is very clear: be humble and have faith. Well, what does that mean? How do we become humble and have faith in the midst of trial and hardship?And how does it lead to the "weak things becom[ing] strong unto [us]?" First of all, we must recognize that the scripture is not teaching that we will be free from our trials, but we will be made strong in our weakness. Trials are a part of mortality. Do not try to run away or avoid it, because, as many of the elder generation can attest, life will always have trials. It is the lot of mortality (though I firmly believe in the eternities we will be perfectly strong.) to struggle.
So, I have learned to stop trying to avoid the pain of life, and am trying to embrace the weakness. It is okay to cry and be weak in front of the Lord. He is never ashamed of you for being weak. YOU ARE NOT GUILTY FOR BEING WEAK!! I think that crying to him and weeping and telling him how hard you are trying and how weak you are is a great show of humility and faith. And I can promise you that as you are being so vulnerable, that is when the Lord will be the closest!! He has always heard me, and has NEVER told me He is ashamed of me, only that He loves me. I love the word "sufficient" in this, because it implies that his grace is enough for us, and by implication there is more than enough love to help us.
Reading this scripture, all that I hear is an invitation, even a plea, from our Heavenly Father to come to the Savior. To come to Him. Another unfortunate thing that I hear in my communications with people is the notion that God wants us to come unto Him simply so he can perfect us, and therefore all he cares about is us improving and he has no room for our imperfection. This leads to many people mistakingly thinking that they must be perfect and that God will not want to understand what is holding them back from progress, simply that they are not progressing. This is false. He does care in the progress, but he is an infinitely compassionate being who loves us even when we are stalled, and will sit and bear with us and surround us in his love no matter how slowly we are moving. He invites us to come unto him not just because he wants us to pick up and keep moving forward, but because he is a father, a dad, who wants to hug us and love us and care about everything that is going on in our lives.
But still, it can be ever so difficult and tricky to find the faith to move through, and even at times simply pray when we feel the weakest. This the last thought that I wish to share: faith comes as we learn to yearn for the embrace of our Savior. Alma 32 teaches that if we even so much as desire to believe, then God can work with us. Here is what I do when I become scared because I am weak, you may try this if you would like. It is based on the picture called Journey's End that shows the Savior embracing a man in his arms at the end of life's journey. So first, I picture the Savior at the end of a beautiful walkway smiling and beaming at me with his arms wide open to embrace me. I then think of all of the times when I knew that the Savior was real and that he loved me. Those thoughts stir within me the desire that I have to just be able to give the Savior a hug, to bathe his feet with my tears (as Bruce R. McConkie said), and tell him how much I love him.
I realize that the day has not yet come when I can literally, face-to-face see him and talk with him, so I then picture myself running toward him and tell myself that there is nothing that can stand in my way from getting the chance to embrace him at the end of my "life's journey" I try my best to stop worrying about how to overcome the obstacles because the faith that is pushing me to simply run toward him is enough for him to work with and help to fight through all obstacles. I forget for a brief moment that I have weakness, and for a time I feel strong enough, because the Savior is there, to do what ever he asks of me, even if it is to endure pain for just little bit longer. Doing so will enable me to embrace him. However, as I am running toward him I realize that he has been running alongside me the whole time. He has been picking me up as I have stumble on pebbles, or run into great barriers. It is kind of a paradox that he is at the end of the journey physically, but it is with me throughout the journey spiritually. That is what faith is: running toward the Savior, or crawling, or dragging yourself as best as you can through thick and thin, with what little strength you have at times, because more than anything you want to embrace him. And at the same time, more than anything you need him now.
I testify that the Savior is with us now. He always has been and always will be. He will make you strong! And even when you are weak, he can be your strength because he loves you and will always be there for you.
