At times life is so simple.
Eat, sleep, work, school, social life (and/or dating), the Gospel, and
family are the 6 simple facets of life.
Most of the time, they are pretty manageable as far as time goes. Yes there are little flare-ups here and there
in any given facet that demands more time, but through the ups and downs of
life you can usually make your way. And
in the end, all you have to do to be happy is live the gospel. It’s just that simple… Or is it?
Out of nowhere an endless cloud of despair enshrouds your
life. All of a sudden you watch as the
simple explodes into inexplicable complexity that just will not let you
be. Your mind is seized by inescapably
dark, terrifying, and distressing thoughts that sink you deeper into
despair. To an outsider looking inward
at you, they just see another “down” on life’s rollercoaster, but to you it
seems to spiral never-endingly downward.
Seemingly simple bumps in the road, like getting a flat tire or getting
sick, pile up and weigh you down more.
The little things that brought you joy your whole life are but fleeting
moments now. You watch as your family,
whom you love so very very much, falls apart in front of your eyes. Your friends are moving on with life, but you
are still stuck in the middle of the road, exactly where you were months ago. School just adds to the already complex
situation, along with church callings and work. There is so much that you want to do and be, but it all just
seems impossible. You worry about every little thing you say to
others, especially those who you are so close too, because you don’t want them
to see you when you are weak when all you’ve tried to do is be strong for them
in case they had hard times. No one
needs to see these wars fought in the personal chambers of your heart. Often in public you have to exhort great
effort just to hold back the tears, but as soon as you are alone, the
floodgates open. Even when surrounded by
so many, you’ve never felt so alone. The
simple primary answers just aren’t cutting it.
As you pray, it seems the only answers you get are more trials. Where is the balm in Gilead? Where is the command for the tempest to
cease? God, are you there?
Then one night as you stifle the cries and hold back the
tears through closed eyes you notice something.
You aren’t sure if you are actually seeing something with your eyes or
if your spiritual eyes are seeing it, but there appears to be a tiny flame, a
spark, in the darkness. You aren’t sure
what it is, but its flicker somehow warms your soul enough to get you up the
next day to try one more time. At the
end of the next day, there it is again.
You begin to realize that it has been there the whole time. At times it has taken various corporeal forms
of sorts: mission memories, scriptures, the smile of a beautiful angel,
friends, music, and so much more.
Yet at the same time there is one form that connects them
all: the face of your Savior. He is
smiling with a face that can only ever express love. The words of a great hymn come to mind “I
believe in Christ, so come what may…” You sang that hymn with such conviction
before and have never doubted it, why doubt now? Christ is there. He always has been, even when testing your
faith like never before. You realize
what that spark is: Hope. It is the hope
in Christ that never fails. “Don’t give
up, boy” he seems to say “Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying.
There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—You keep your chin up. It will be
all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.” Anything
is possible because of him. The clouds
disappear. The sun comes out. Peace returns to the soul. “oh yeah, life is
simple when you turn to Christ…” Satan tries again and again to bring you back
to that valley of despair, and on some days he succeeds, but no matter how hard
he tries he cannot put out that flickering spark when you close your eyes. The Savior always triumphs.
To any who are reading this, I hope that perhaps that the
spirit will testify to you as it has to me that the Savior is there. Some of you may be in despair, yet still
smiling to the outside world. Some of you may be suffering financially,
emotionally, spiritually, with friends, family, or in many other ways big or
small. Don’t be ashamed to feel sorrow
for things that the world would consider trivial, but are important to you. Whatever your case may be know this: The
Savior is there. He is the Savior who
will never abandon you. To him,
everything you do is important. All
achievements, small or great, fill him with joy. And in the darkest of hours he is still
there. Trust me… I know from personal
experience. Please feel free to share
this with anyone you now who is struggling or feel free to comment. I testify to you of the Savior with all my
heart! Close your eyes. Look for the
tiniest spark, the tiniest flicker of hope, the Savior.
