Men - RULES
- Open the Door! How many times do I have to say it?! Open all doors, including letting her out of the car. And don't you dare honk your horn and expect her to come to the car! You had better go to the door and get her! Remember she reserves the right to cancel the date. :)
- Plan the activity before you even ask her out! It is so rude to ask her out, and then ask "what do you want to do?" when you get in the car! At least have the respect to take time to plan something out! It is sweet if you can say "hey this Friday is having a concert and I thought of you. Would you like to join me for ____?" And maybe call a day before to confirm specifics about time and pickup location. Oh and call to ask her out, not text.
- Don't talk too much about your mission! Sorry, but this is about her, not you! If she asks you about the mission, train yourself to answer only the question asked, not to continue onward. Keep the answer short and sweet. And no "I'm Bueno, oops, sorry I'm just 'accidentally' slipping into my mission language."
- Ask her questions! Get to know who she is! Remember this is about her, but at the same time don't ask question after question. In other words don't be so anxious to ask questions as to get rid of casual conversation, that might make you seem kind of creepy/stalker. When talking, watch your language, jokes, and sarcasm carefully. She is sensitive, plus because she is a Daughter-of-God, certain topics are definite no no's! (ie bodily functions/body humor etc. She may laugh, but really she deserves better!)
- Be prepared to pay the price wherever you eat! If you don't have the budget to go to Chef's Table don't offer to go there, there is no shame in telling her your budget limitations. This brings another point, when planning it might be smart to offer two or three choices to your date. This allows for you to control prices and for her to have a say in it. (especially good in case of food allergies/preferences)
- Don't flash your credentials left and right! Stop thinking you are so cool and telling about all of your accomplishments or how much you can bench. (no flexing of muscles, gross) Truth is, we are dating way over our heads and out of our leagues. And ABSOLUTELY NO talking about other girls and previous girlfriends!
- Always remember that she is a daughter-of-God! Your responsibility is to treat her as such! Her happiness, fun, and safety is encompassed in this responsibility. Treat her like a Queen! This is the overall principle to keep in mind when on a date! How would Heavenly Father treat her? And don't you dare try, or even think, to do anything that would make her feel that she has to choose between you and God's commandments! Oh and this includes the kinds of jokes and things you talk about! (Again see rule #4)
Women - TIPS
- Give him opportunities to be chivalrous! Let him open your door to get out of the car not just into the car! If he honks, don't go; wait or call him and cancel. Seriously, you have the right to call off the date at anytime and demand to be taken home.
- If he hasn't planned anything: well, if he calls with no specifics, you can ensure he plans something by saying something along the lines of "Yes, I'd love to go, but I would feel more comfortable if we had something planned before the date starts." If he shows up with no plan, again you reserve the right to call off the date, just try to be nice but firm about why. No need to make him cry. :)
- If you are going to ask about the mission, be prepared! He probably will have a difficult time keeping it to a minimum, so if you are going to ask, please be sincere and listen, then when appropriate you may have to help him move on to the next subject.
- Please talk back! Even if you don't really want to be on the date, it is rather rude to leave him in silence. Try to get to know him too! Don't give just give one word answers to his questions.
- Inform him of food preferences! Don't be shy about making a choice about food, and please, there is no need to be embarrassed about how much you eat! In fact, it can turn into a fun competition!
- No talking about previous boyfriends! Yes, he may not be the most macho guy or be the knight in shining armor that you are infatuated with right now, but he deserves respect too. (this is a rule) Along the lines of respecting him, modesty is huge! (ie leggings are not pants, cover up)
- Lower your expectations! I know this seems kind of bold for me to say, but we are men. We are really stupid a lot of the time. If a man is honestly trying, I know you can tell when they are or not, treat him with respect and appreciation for his effort. Chances are Prince Charming won't come sweep you off of your feet. And if you are not interested, once again, you reserve the right/don't be afraid, to say no! You need to be honest about it. At the same time, do it in a kind gentle way. Trust me, it will hurt his feelings a lot less than 5 months of false hope for him, ending in a desperate plea from you saying no.
- Again, if all else fails, you have power! Say NO! Demand to be taken home! Especially if he is asking you to choose between him and God! You have soooooo much influence over him its not even funny! And that is why you are so amazing! You are a daughter-of-God! You deserve the best!
So there are a few of my tips. Remember ladies, you don't have to settle. You may just be "accustomed" to certain ways that men treat you or act around you, and may even find yourself settling for less than you deserve. Don't settle! And men, don't you dare let her settle! Once again, I don't profess to be perfect. I do however openly profess to be a little bit bias on this subject. I hope I haven't offended anyone. Please comment and let me know what you think, or add more tips as you feel! Tips from women are especially appreciated/ needed. :)
